My Best Friend: The Dishwasher

I have a confession. I am a dishwasher abuser. I have asked my dishwasher to do things I would never ask any human to do. I put a whole chocolate cake in there once. It was old and nasty and a leftover from days gone by. But the dishwasher didn’t care. It cleaned the dishes just like it always does. And at the end of the cycle, no pieces of cake were left. Just clean, sparkling dishes. I have also thrown in whole uneaten plates of spaghetti too. No complains from the dishwasher here either. Basically, my motto is, if the food scrap can fit through the whole in the bottom of the dishwasher, it’s going in. Most dishwashers have a garbage disposer to grind up that stuff anyway. Why not put it to use? For some real fun, put some different colored icings in from when you were making cupcakes. Then carefully take a peek about 5 minutes into the cycle. It’s so beautiful with all of the colors everywhere. It’s like a work of art. I think I know where Picasso got his inspiration.

What I don’t understand all these people who pre-rinse their dishes. The appliance is not called a dish-finisher, dish partial washer, or a dish-dryer. It’s a DISH WASHER for crying out loud. Its job is to WASH dishes. Not to finish what you were too lazy to finish yourself. And these people who have to methodically place the dishes in the dishwasher (Kim)…. I don’t get them either. Like the post office says: “If it fits, it’s ships.” I say, “If it fits, it gets washed.” Of course, I don’t shove everything in there without any respect for how the water is going to circulate. But I don’t obey any hard and fast rules either. Wherever the pot, pan, dish, glass, cup, spoon, or other fits, it goes.

As far as cycles go, the more the merrier if it was up to me. I usually use the longest cycle to make sure everything gets clean unless they are not too dirty to begin with (which is rarely the case if you know how I eat and cook!). I love the pot scrubber cycle too. I have put nasty, baked on lasagna pans in there only to find them come out clean and like new.  I rarely do dishes at all. Hey, put the shiny steel box to use. You bought it.  Use it! On the weekends, he goes to work sometimes two or three times a day for me. Holidays: non-stop. Does he complain? Nope. As long as he’s filled with rinse aid, he’s a happy camper and will eager wash whatever mess I throw his way.

It’s time people started to trust their helpful dishwasher. And if there was a cycle that took two 2 days to wash your dishes, I would be all for it. If you think about it, who cares how long it takes, as long as you’re not involved in it and the end result is great. So little guy, if you want to take 4 hours to wash my pots and pans, more power to you. As long as they come out squeaky-clean, I couldn’t be happier.

Now, I can finish my glass of wine as I listen to the quiet and relaxing splashing of my best friend, the dishwasher.